Apologies....

Do they (the abuser) really mean the apologies that follow after they have hurt you? Whether it is physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally, does the abuser feel remorse and really mean it? I think that they rationalize it all--if she wouldn't push me, if I wasn't so stressed from work, if she'd only do as I asked her to, I wouldn't do that to her, or it was an accident...I didn't mean to hit that hard, I forget my own strength sometimes...He is always sorry afterward and promises it would never happen again, yet it always did. To the outside world he portrait himself to be "Mr Right", women would gather around him like flocks. I was the one at fault, he was sorry he had to take such measures, but it was my fault. Do I believe that he ever felt sorry for any of the stuff that he did to me, NO I do not, I do not because he kept doing it over and over again. And over and over I got flowers and cards and tears and a million and one apologies only for him to turn around and do it again...it never stopped. If it is happening to you and it is your first time, DON'T believe the apologies they are lies to help build hope in you until the next time and the next and the next after that. Leave now while you still have a chance don't stay to subject yourself to more abuse when you don't have to, there is help for you just call a hot line and they can refer you to what you need.